30 Jun Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
When I first started bike touring, it was easy to read about someone else’s adventure and become so jealous of their trip. I started to develop this weird sense of envy, but I couldn’t just get up and get out of my job and life to go on a year-long bicycle tour around the world. I started to hold a barometer of my accomplishments with those that had blazed the trails before me. What I should have done was make this journey about me, rather than about what others have done and what I haven’t done. I compared myself to others who have decided to make bike travel a priority in their lives. It wasn’t until I took the plunge myself to dedicate my life to bicycle traveling that I realized that I should stop comparing myself to others.
You Are You
You are unique to yourself. Even though someone may have already gone to a particular destination or rode up and down a region that you’ve wanted to go to, it is going to be different when you do it because you will have a different perspective. Don’t compare yourself with others because your perspective is unique to you, and you should cherish that. You may not experience the same thing as the last person. When you get into a situation, it is you who gets to interact and mold the experience however way you want. You are allowed to react and act on it the way you want to. No two experiences will ever be the same, so just stop listening to people and their feedback. If they hate some place, this does not mean you will hate it, too. Even if you ride the same trip again, it will be entirely different from your previous experience. The route and places may look the same, but everything else will be different. This is a good thing. Your life has changed and you’ve experienced more bike tours to help you adjust expectations and be more prepared. Just know that you are you. You don’t need to be Joe Traveler who’s breaking world records.
Riding into the fog
You Will Eventually Get There
It may take you a few years or maybe even decades, but you will eventually get there. Who cares if you see someone travel across the United States. If that is something you want to do, you will get to do it eventually. It may not happen in the near future, but trust that you will get to do it some time in the future. Just don’t wait too long. You may not be able to do it as you have different priorities (which is fine). Life happens and you need to tend to that, but never lose sight of these travel goals. Do not be the guy who says, “What if” but rather, be the one who says, “Right now”. If you can’t say right now, make it a goal that you plan to attain in the near future. Put a date on it. Save for it. It will only be reality once you’ve made up your mind to make it into reality. Nobody else will do it but you.
You might not be able to do it right now, but you will get to do it. That is more than what you can say about other folks who have delayed their dream to work and build security. Even that isn’t bad. If they can afford to delay their dreams for security, then let’s hope that they do that and follow through. The problem is people forget about their dreams and divert from it. I’ve talked to people who have lost their drive. They were once hungry for adventure and knowledge, but only to be bogged down and settled in on their mundane life, complaining about their job. They don’t realize they have the power to change all that.
Johnny riding to the Scary Dairy
Your Own Journey
Nobody is going to have the exact same life. You will receive opportunities that no one will be given. You should be grateful for that. If I hadn’t worked hard and saved up, I wouldn’t have had this opportunity to take a long extended time away from work. I’ve had to endure emotional breakdowns to get to where I am today, but I am a much stronger person for that. What use to stress me out, no longer stresses me out. That is why comparing yourself with others is not helpful. You have your own struggles and victories that others may not have. Your story is written differently than anybody else’s, so it doesn’t make sense for you to follow someone else’s story. Your journey is a personal one, one that is uniquely yours.
Remember that there are no rules in your life. You are only constrained by your own mental limitations. Anything and everything is possible if you allow yourself to believe. It may cost more or you may need to find a way to do it, but it is possible. I have been so blessed to have the opportunity to travel so much by bike in the past year. I believe the shift in my mindset to make this a priority and the choices I make in my life allows me to continue with this dream, at least for the next few months. Who knows what the future may bring. I may need to find a job, but I am not going to do that unless it is absolutely necessary. In the mean-time, I am going to live out my dream and work hard to build something that is mine. I am going to be in the moment in my journey.
Final Thoughts
This post was necessary to remind myself of these points as I forget when days or weeks go by without a bike tour. I would spend my time reading and seeing people’s amazing adventures and start to compare myself. I would go into a self-defeating mode and feel insignificant to these individuals. What all this is, is just me being stir-crazy at home wishing I got to go out on a bike tour. It is more of a reminder for me as I lose site of these points when I am deeply engaged with my own negative thoughts and concerns.
Even looking back at my own life’s journey, it amazes me because I’ve stopped listening to everyone who has told me what I should do. I have lived my life the way I wanted to. Even when I wasn’t traveling so much, I was able to do something that I needed to do at that point in time. None of my life was boring or meaningless. Everything has meaning and I certainly don’t want to devalue that by comparing it with someone else. It is hard sometimes when you see someone roll down the street with a brand new gold BMW M3 (the car of my dream) who looks half your age. But instead of putting out negative energy, I turn within and remind myself of what I am so grateful for, and most of the time, I am much happier with myself as I am not him.
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